Your email has been sent! It's like if somebody said the Simpsons live at Evergreen Terrace and then I said "That should be a 2, not a 3. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
You won't be able to vote or comment. The engineer walks in and is posed the same question: He walks to the door, locks it, closes the curtains and looks around, then goes over to the interviewer and whispers: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Jokes For Intelligent People
There were two parrots on a perch. Apparently he was ambidextrose. Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium! So, whoever of the two of you gives me the best answer to the question 'What is the meaning of life' gets to come in.
I can't put the little numbers in on my phone. Please, sir, I'd like a martini. Ask them to pronounce unionized. Comment replies consisting solely of images intellectual jokes be removed. A computer programmer is told by his wife, "Go to the supermarket and pick up two loaves of bread. Mods reserve the right to remove content or restrict users' posting privileges as necessary if it is deemed detrimental to the subreddit or to the experience of others.
Schroedinger yells back "We do now, asshole!
20 Intelligent Jokes Most People Won't Get Straight Away. #16 Is Gold.
No text is allowed in the textbox. It was a premature comment because I personally had never heard of it before. A neutrino walks into a bar. A deaf dear wanders into their field of view and stops. Would you like your coffee without milk instead? A you wont get accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect.
AskReddit submitted 3 years ago by Oconnorbaseball comments share report. A mathematician, a physicist, "intellectual jokes you wont get tired", and an engineer are invited to a job interview. Because Dec 25 equals Oct Octal is the base-8 number system.
Peter turns to the hippo and says, "Alright, you can go on in. The physicist walks in and is asked the same question: To him 2 is a known constant and he just answers "2 is 2" and walks out.
He chops those off and 64 regrow. Joyce already told me that story. I'm sure everyone has heard this but oh well "what do you get when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
Partly because it is hilarious and partly be cause I have literally spent days doing nothing but debugging and thinking about all the hairs that I've ripped out of my head looking for a missing semicolon. He chops those off and 8 regrow! The third statistician proclaims "I hit it! Do you believe the world is becoming a better or worse place since you were a kid? I'll take your second-best cognac and unadulterated experience.
The ending that I've always heard was: The bartender pours two beers and says 'You guys need to learn your limits. The wont get tired statistician says "Yes!
May her rest be long and placid For she added water to the acid If she had done as she oughta She would've added acid to the water. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. If they have eggs, get twelve. A farmer is having an issue with his chickens, so he calls up his friend, who is a physicist. I just learned my Biochem nomenclature of saccharides, and this made me LOL. The third orders a quarter of a beer. My dad told me this one: A knight is sent to slay a dragon with 2 heads.
It's, "to whom," idiot.
I'd like a mineral water. May her rest be long and placid For she added water to the acid If she had done as she oughta She would've added acid to the water Things my organic chemist father taught me in high school. Because Zeta Eta Theta. He chops those off and regrow. AskReddit subscribe unsubscribe 17, readers 68, users here now [ SERIOUS ] Rules: Filter posts by subject: Mod posts Serious posts Megathread Breaking news Unfilter Do you have ideas or feedback for Askreddit?
Height of dumbness jokes of the day don't know if he invented the joke, but Isaac Asimov used it in a column in one of his monthly yous wont get in Asimov's Science Fiction magazine. We have spoiler tags, please use them!
Quite smug with himself he walks out. Posting, or seeking, any identifying personal information, real or fake, will result in a ban without a prior warning.
He chops those off and the dragon dies because it was only 8-bit. He implies that there are three people by adding the reference to base 3. You can just gesture if your tongue is preoccupied. Log in or sign up in seconds. A physics professor and his wont get are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?
I cried at this joke. Born of and for the internet. She responds, "Oh I am so sorry Monsieur, we have no cream today. Newton, however, begins drawing a 1x1 meter square in the dirt at his feet. Know that feel bro. The first finds a deer and takes aim. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One turns to the intellectual jokes you and says "Can you smell fish? There are two great problems in computer science: Cache invalidation, naming, and off-by-one errors.
If any of them did not want a drink, then they would have answered no to the question "will all of you be having a drink? I was on my phone at the time I replied and I noticed what he was saying was correct and that I was just kinda adding filler that didn't need to be pointed out.
And Heidegger thinks for a few minutes and says, "To think being itself explicitly requires disregarding being to the extent that it is only grounded and interpreted in terms of beings and for beings as their ground as in all metaphysics. The second takes aim and fires, but misses 5 yous wont get to the left. Posts are automatically archived after 6 months.
The world is your MS Word doc. So Martin Heidegger and a hippo are the last two souls in line at the pearly gates, and St. So Charles Dickens was in here yesterday You see, it's funny because he wrote a book called "Oliver Twist. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please. So Charles Dickens was in here two days ago.
The second orders half a beer. What a shitty joke. But then someone pointed out that the abbreviation for a hydroxyl ion is HO. Schroedinger sits grumpily in the passenger seat as the cop takes a look around the car. This also means I'm allowed to eat quiche. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip.
It's like if somebody said the Simpsons live at Evergreen Terrace and then I said "That should be a 2, not a 3. When I heard this joke the intellectual jokes guy says " I want some H20 too. My affection's never ending, every day is new, that's why my love is like the square root of two written as a decimal. Give me a brandy. He misses 5 feet to the right. I can't digest solid food. Now I get it! Honestly that should be the name of a food fraternity. Werner Heisenberg is speeding down the road and a cop pulls him over.
After trying to explain the higgs bosons to my mother she sent me this link: So, the Higgs Boson is walking into church, but the vicar stops him at the door and says "You can't come in here, you'll upset the congregation", so then the Higgs Boson says "But you can't have mass without me".
There was no alt-text until you moused over Comic Explanation. And I guess the chemist would say un-ionized? How about you buy one of them a drink, so maybe she'll fall in love with you? Can you explain please?
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink for himself and one for the empty bar stool next to him. Why or why not? Those who weren't expecting a base three joke are a subset of the first two groups. There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke. Roses are red Violets are blue The serratus anterior is innervated by the long thoracic nerve. The one atom says to the other, "I think I lost my electron.
The plumber would say union-ized. The farmer tells his friend about his problem, and the friend says, "Well, I have a solution for your problem, but it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum. I read this as the punchline Sure you can, just use a caret: What's yellow sour and equivalent to the axiom of choice?
A molecule that has a hydroxyl group and carries an integral negative charge can be referred to as a "hydroxyl ion", but it would be represented as XOH - where X stands for the rest of the molecular structure. Jean Paul Sartre is sitting in his favorite Parisian cafe, you wont get on his manuscript of Being and Nothingnesswhen the waitress asks for his order. Because they make everything up!
I have an imaginary component, which makes me complex. Three statisticians were out hunting deer. Einstein begins to countdown from 20 and Pascal runs and hides. Barkeep asks " Do you want a drink? A Roman walks into a bar and orders a Martinus. Dexter is saying "That's no HO, that's my wife! I'm intellectual jokes saying that intellectual jokes you of what they said should be changed from a 3 to a 2.
This is a bar. It hurts when IP. We don't serve noble gasses in here. I did all of the shopping, and now I have presents under the tree for the neighborhood children. I don't mean they live at 2 Evergreen Terrace.
Argon walks into a bar. I didn't get it for a long time either- when I was a kid I just thought the joke was that Dexter was just hurling a load of technobabble at Deedee, and it goes completely over her head despite making Dexter crack up laughing. The first orders a beer. The bartender shouts at him "Hey! Mod posts Serious posts Megathread Breaking news Unfilter. That's the wont get tired kind of hidden adult humor in kid's shows that I like: Also, to be clear, a hydroxyl group is part of a larger molecule and is not, itself, an ion.
I know that 6. The title may contain two, short, necessary context sentences. Three statisticians go hunting. Einstein quickly finishes counting and sees Newton standing on top of a small square and says "Aha! Turns out he's OK. Peter says "listen, we've only got room for one more today. Askreddit is for open-ended discussion questions. The bartender says, "We don't serve neutrinos here! Mathematician walks in, and the interviewer asks him intellectual jokes you one question: Smelling a intellectual jokes question the mathematician walks over to the board and prooves that 2 is in fact 3.
I'll take a Guinness. He worked it out with a pencil. This image is my favorite version of that. If an oxygen bonded to a hydrogen are floating around freely, carrying a negative charge, they are hydroxide.
Sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, BATMAN! Does money really matter? Askreddit is not your soapbox, personal army, or advertising platform. He doesn't come back. He chops those off and 16 regrow. Thank you for providing me with a new corny joke I can tell my professor!
There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand hexadecimal number systems, and F the rest. This is an archived post.
He chops the heads off and 4 regrow. Many years ago, obviously, since he died in The correction has been made anyway. Bartender says "Why so negative?
Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements? Two atoms were walking down the street. You must post a clear and direct question in the title.
Any post asking for advice should be generic and not specific to your situation alone. My love is like the square root of two. We don't have that. Quoted from my original post Ah, nostalgia: To get to the same side. So Charles Dickens came in the other day and ordered a martini. A programmers wife sends him to the store and says "Get some bread, and while you're there pick up some eggs.
He chops those off and 32 regrow. Because Alpha Eta Pi. The first statistician shoots at it but misses the dear 1 meter to the right. Pascal, Einstein and Newton are playing hide-and-seek; Einstein is "it". One atom says to the other one "I've lost an electron!